Assalamualaikum and Hi all. Is better to me to say 2011 in memories. There is a lot of memories that we have been through especially for me. As a human being we're always stand the test of. Allah is only we submit all of our problem, without Him we don't know how we stand till now and we still don't know how to take a breathe directly. I just really love this year. And actually every last week of a year, I always cried all night long alone without someone knows that. If I can stand to hide it, I will do. As a human being, yes I'm impatient. I was directly mad at all without any reason anyway and I can't control myself actually because I'm too sensitive with others. Everybody just don't know about it because I won't show it and just because I love to hide anything that hurt me so much. Just like Christina Perri said "The Lonely" No one will know what will happen on tomorrow just same to anybody. We such a dumb actually. Most people are perfectly afraid of silence. I was afraid of separate. I was afraid of missing someone that I love the most. I just love them more than I love myself.

In 2011 there is a lot of bad things happen to me too but I always asked to Allah to give me strength to face all troubles. We always give all to Him. Just ask to Him. InsyaAllah He will give what we want. I just love people around me. I just love my history. I just love my parents more than myself. I just can't get away from him but I must. I Love Everybody. "More Love Less Hate" I always cried when I remembered about Ayah. Only He knows how we still can take a breathe like easily like a normal people even my heart is always "berkecamuk" and finally there is old woman with a kind-hearted sent ayah to Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya and only there ayah can recover his legs. Alhamdulillah. And yes, I met the three beautiful and kind sister, she's my foster siblings and she always give support to me to make my life happy with them. I just miss all of them. I just know about her through Zati, she is Nazurah, sis Yuya that I always make she hurt with me, I'm sorry sis really sorry because people always do mistake. I'm sorry for those who actually I've hurt them that much because I didn't have much time to checked all my mistakes because I was busy double-checked of myself during I always do mistakes because nobody's perfect. In August. Alhamdulillah we're met again during 8months I didn't saw him and he left without any news and I end up with hurt and nothing. There's always a hope and never forget that. I always pray to God that you and I might end up together. InsyaAllah for hereafter. I always do mistakes to my parents and I just make them hurt so much with me Astaghfirullahalazim. In 2012 InsyaAllah I will make them proud of me. InsyaAllah. There is always hope.

In 2011, I loved someone. Got hurt. Made countless stupid decisions and expected too much. In 2012, I will moving on. Life is like the ocean. It can be calm or still, and rough or rigid, but in the end, it is always beautiful.

That always me, a writer of BACK TO HISTORY. That's why I chose that to my blog title, it was very mean to me. Thank Allah because I can take my breath right now. 2011 you make me proud of you because I cried a lot and no one know about it. And I met him for the last time in 2011. Ayah and Bonda is always be my backbone, 2011 love to make my result with extreme grade. Pia, she always be my backbone too, she's my soul and only her can make me smile again after having that frustration.

2011 please let me go slowly because I'm not ready.